Connor's Regret
by ChocoLavaa
Summary: A Jonnor Story. I kinda skipped the time around a little. This is when Connor went to San Diego with his boyfriend and Jude and Noah infiltrated the boat at the same time When Connor came back to San Diego after realizing his true feelings, he saw that Jude changed and was high. How will Connor cope with the fact that Jude changed and make him follow the right path again?


**Disclaimer: I do not own the Fosters or their characters**

* * *

 **Connor's POV**

I was so hung up over the fact that Jude and I broke up. I know he was unsatisfied at how we couldn't spend much time together, with him in San Diego, while I'm in L.A, but we shouldn't have broken up like that.

I was happy when I got a text from Jude even after we broke up. I really thought he regret our break up and was going to ask me for us to get back together. I guess he didn't really feel the same way about me.

At times, I wonder how's Jude without me. Is he happier? Did he think about me at all? My questions were never answered as our silence grew. The pain I'm feeling hurts more each passing day. I started to resent my dad for making me lose the person I love.

Time pass by and I got myself a boyfriend, Arnold. At first, we started going out because I wanted to get over Jude. I decided to take him to San Diego with me, and uploaded a picture of the two of us on Facebook. But then I realized that maybe I didn't want to get over Jude. Maybe I wanted Jude to feel jealous.

Then, I noticed Jude updated his status to "In A Relationship" with another guy and uploaded a picture of the two of them together. The very same Jude that was so hesitant on coming out as gay. Maybe what Jude said to me really was true. Maybe he was with me because I was the only other gay guy. I was so hung up over the fact that Jude and I broke up. I know he was unsatisfied at how we couldn't spend much time together, with him in San Diego, while I'm in L.A, but we shouldn't have broken up like that.

I noticed a tear trickling down my cheek. I knew what I was doing to Arnold wasn't right. I've noticed that Arnold realized I don't reciprocate his feelings, so I have to do the right thing instead of chaining him with me. I broke up with him, but he smiled back to me and told me he was happy I realized my own feelings and told me to go and find Jude. He told me to at least tell Jude how I feel face-to-face before coming back to L.A.

* * *

I was walking around a boating dock to calm my nerves when I spotted Jude with a guy, the very same guy he posted a picture with on Facebook. I saw them enter the boat for a while, then ran out after a guy got on. What's got into Jude? He never used to break the laws before. He used to tell everything to Stef and Lena.

The guy on the boat was chasing after the two of them so I decided to follow them too. I saw Brandon's car pull up, so I entered it from the side that was hidden from Jude. When Jude and his new boyfriend got in, I noticed something weird about the two of them.

Sure, Jude was surprised to see me, but that can't beat how shocked I was seeing the difference in him.

"C-Connor? Why are you here?"

His voice sounds hostile, but I ignored him. He really made me mad this time.

"Are you high right now?! What are you thinking? Why are you taking drugs? You're only fourteen! Why are you ruining your life like this?"

I couldn't imagine it. I was so worried about him, but he was too high to care about anything except laughing and flirting with that new boyfriend of his.

"I came here to tell you something really important. I'm sorry I went to L.A. I told you before that I left because I knew no matter what I did, my dad wouldn't approve of me being gay. After leaving San Diego, I thought of you everyday. I joined all those sports teams to distract myself, because I was always thinking about you.

"Then you went and said we might be together because we were the only gay guys in our class. It really hit me hard, because I never thought that was the case. I've always loved you for being you, whether you were gay or not. And then you broke up with me without giving me a chance to say anything. I tried to text you or contact you again everyday, but was too afraid to do so.

"I tried getting myself a boyfriend recently. I'm not even sure if it was to get over you or to make you jealous. Maybe it was both. But the longer I stayed with him, the more I realized I'm not going to get over you soon, so I broke up with him and came here to tell you how I feel, but no! You're just too high to even process what I'm saying right now.

"See you, Jude. I wished you made better choices. Sorry for ruining your moment with your boyfriend. I'm going back to L.A. now." I turned to Brandon and his girlfriend and told them to drop me off right there. Tears were streaming down my face, but I was too shocked about Jude's new life to care.

I really wanted to go back at this moment and not stay here anymore. I don't even want to spend a second more in San Diego, but I don't have enough money to purchase an earlier flight ticket than the one I already have, which is next week.

Whatever, Jude probably won't remember anything on the next day anyway, and even if he did, based on what I said to Jude, they would think I left San Diego as soon as possible. At least no one would bother me during my week here. I don't think I can handle anymore than what I have just found out earlier. I should never have left San Diego, even if my dad was never going to accept my sexual orientation.


End file.
